The Microwave

My Microwave Made Me Go Insane:

I know what you’re probably thinking,” A microwave? Really?”

Well, I’m here to tell you that this common household item has driven me to permanently check out. However, I think the one thing I can do before I expire, is share how exactly it put me in this state of mind. Or lack thereof, I should say.

It all began only a week ago. I was shopping at a thrift store. I’m not that well off financially. So sometimes I had to shop there for things I need. And seeing as how the microwave I had for years broke, I was looking for a new one. I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw an employee put it on a shelf. It looked brand new. It was silver with black buttons. Not a single scratch was on it.

I picked it up and shook it. I didn’t hear any weird rattling or anything like that. The only odd thing was that it didn’t have a brand on it. I checked the price and saw that it was only twenty dollars. I couldn’t believe my luck at the time. Although, I mistook it for good luck, at the time.

I made sure to clean it thoroughly after I bought it, home. When I had done that, the only thing I had left to do was to test it out. The weirdness began with the first thing I heated up in that goddamn metal box.

What I put in it, was two bagel halves with a slice of cheddar each on them…